Celiac Disease / Gluten Free Restaurants

Tavern on the Green Already Sucked

Meet a Douchebag in an ApronBut now we all know the Central Park eatery (I use the term loosely) employed major douchebags, as a former executive banquet chef  (does that mean he really only catered, not chef’d? ahem) Damian Cardone talks about how he loved to screw over people with celiac. Or just “idiots” as he likes to call all of us.

Cardone posted the following on his Facebook page:

Gluten free is bullshit!! Flour and bread have been a staple of life for thousands, THOUSANDS of years. People who claim to be gluten intolerent [sic] dont [sic] realize that its [sic] all in there [sic] disturbed little heads. People ask me for gluten free pasta in my restaurant all the time, I tell em sure, Then I serve serve em our pasta, Which I make from scratch with high gluten flour. And you know what? nothing, NOTHING! ever happens! People leave talking about how good they feel gluten free and guess what, They just had a full dose! Idiots!

Two things are wrong with this FB post. Actually, three things, with the first one being Cardone’s photo which clearly identifies him as the kind of guy who also thought it was funny to strip freshmen naked and dip their balls in Tabasco sauce.

First of all, either flour has gluten in it, or it doesn’t. If you’re purposely choosing high-gluten flour when your recipe calls for regular flour, you’re the idiot. And a lousy chef.

Second of all, I guarantee you people aren’t asking you for gluten-free pasta in your kitchen “all the time.” Either a restaurant has gluten-free pasta, or it doesn’t. Your server would know the answer when asked if you had gf pasta, and would simply say, no. Also, celiacs that I know would never assume that any establishment WOULD have gluten-free pasta. It’s quite the opposite, actually. And especially in an overrated, tourist trap of a crap-hole like Tavern on the Green.

And I really don’t need to repeat what everyone else in the world knows, but will. If I could shove brioche buns in my mouth by the fist full, I would. I don’t like not being able to eat gluten. I hate having to go into a restaurant and double check everything with a waiter. If gluten didn’t actually harm my health to the point where I could get cancer, osteoporosis, diabetes, and have a stroke — you bet I’d eat it. We’re not trying to make your lousy life harder, Mr. Cardone. We’re trying not to get deathly ill and die. So take your high-gluten flour and a meat tenderizer, and pound it right up your ass.

Also, didn’t Tavern shut down? It’s closed, right? At least I remember those tacky chandeliers and curtains going on sale at some point. Perhaps that many people going home and having gut-wrenching illnesses had something to do with that. Turd.

4 thoughts on “Tavern on the Green Already Sucked

  1. Pingback: Poor Celiacs Are Screwed | Gluten Is My Bitch

  2. Pingback: Gluten-Free Los Angeles: Chain Vs. High-Falutin’ | Gluten Is My Bitch

  3. There once was a man named Patrick Clark, and he loved to cook. My wife and I flew to New York to eat his acclaimed food at this renowned Tavern on the Green. i know this “Chef of the Year” died shortly after, and clearly so did the good name… Cardone is a douche bag!!

    • Totally! You know, I went to Tavern towards the end of its run, but before I was diagnosed. The food was mediocre. I’m guessing Patrick Clark passed away before I visited, and this Cardone clown was in charge. I’m super glad you had an awesome experience, though!

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