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I’ve Been Driving By Gluten

It’s been a rough week in gluten-free land. Even with my delightful summer treats, I’ve been fighting a wicked craving for gluten. I found myself in front of the 7-11 staring at their glossy photos of donuts and buffalo chicken rollers just wanting. I wonder what it would be like to just pull into a mall parking lot and go crazy in the food court. I started a list of things I would eat if I decided to fall off the wagon: First, donuts, second, cupcake, third, pizza, fourth, Roscoe’s chicken and waffles and fifth, real turkey sandwich from Larchmont Deli. I’ve honest-to-god been contemplating my great moment of cheating and wondering which temptress would be the one.

So naturally, I accidentally (if there are, indeed, accidents) ate gluten not once but twice, and have been hella’ sick. I know. It’s so on-the-nose. Could I be any more text-book?

The first ridiculous gluten’ing happened over the weekend when I went to make a delicious gluten-free breakfast casserole and instead of going for the Applegate Farms gf sausage, I bought the delicious looking sausage made on-site. Did I ask if the casing or sausage contained gluten? Even after I just wrote about it less than 24 hours before I bought it? Of course not, because how could any beautiful handmade sausage from organic pig be bad for me? Because it has gluten in it, nimrod. Yes, I just called myself a nimrod.

Not satisfied with just one gluten-related incident, I then accepted candy from strangers (well, a good friend, but again did I ask what was in it? Nooooo.), and there it was. A double gluten whammy. 100% my fault. And I didn’t even get anything on my list.

Which is what I’m most upset about. I just spent a week fantasizing about what I would eat, if I could ever eat gluten again, and instead I messed up on sausage and a piece of hard candy. Really, April? That’s the best you could do? It’s shameful. But at least I’ve kicked my gluten craving, for the moment.

We’ll see how soon I find myself cruising by Yum Yum, pretending I have to make the Sophie’s choice between glazed and cake.

Image via ezioman/Flickr

7 thoughts on “I’ve Been Driving By Gluten

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  2. Totally feel you. On a recent vacation, my hotel was next to the most beautiful pastry shop. Every time I walked by the store, those pastries called to me, singing their sweet siren’s song. By the second day, I couldn’t resist, eating not one, but two breakfast pastries. Later that day, I had two cookies and a brownie bar thing. It was so amazing–but I got sick. And with my Celiac’s, I also have dermatitis herpetiformis. The legions are finally going away after 6 weeks of clean eating.

    It is really hard to resist–especially working in an office that orders cookies, pastries and treats all the time. But Shauna is right: It’s usually not worth it. Today I looked at the tray of muffins and cinnamon rolls, and knew that they wouldn’t be worth the pain and suffering. Smelling their sweetness activated the memories (and this sounds lame), and I contented myself with the memory of eating.

    I commend you for your honesty. Writing about your struggles helps all of us. Gluten WILL be all of our bitch. šŸ™‚

  3. Go get gluten, Chris! Six weeks???? Eff that gluten.

    If I worked in an office environment, I really don’t know what I would do. that’s so totally not fair. Thanks for sharing as well.

  4. It gets easier to resist, honest it does. After being gluten free for a handful of years I wasn’t seriously tempted anymore, even while pregnant and working in an office. It’s been 11 years now and I no longer stare at my husband when he eats a cookie. To his relief.

  5. Pingback: Gluten-Free Mozzarella Sticks for Stress/Party Eating | Gluten Is My Bitch

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