God help me, my husband and I are going on a sort of cleanse inspired by Beth over at Tasty Yummies. Her recipes are so amazing they have (kind of) convinced me that deprivation is delicious. And so bam, here we are discussing the removal of sugar, dairy, gluten (duh), red meat, or fatty meat, and alcohol from our diet for two weeks.
Granted our initial discussion of this proposition went something like this: Him: “Hey, we should try some kind of cleanse like she’s doing.” Me: “I can’t eat gluten, bitch, what else are you trying to take away from me??!!” Then I realized that he had a point. I’m not getting any thinner now that I’m actually absorbing all the food I eat and my propensity for whipping up gluten-free treats as “research” has gotten out of hand, yet still awesome.
This means we’re on a two-week health kick, in hopes that it will inspire us (he means me) to be more conscious about eating food that is good for us (me), rather than food that tastes freaking amazing, yet could give me a heart attack.
So far I’ve been in it for 48 hours and I have some questions.
Can one be poisoned by eating too many almonds, or almond products?
If one eats legumes every day for two weeks, will one explode?
Would one cream cheese brownie kill me? Really?
Is my husband secretly trying to control me?
Like most celiacs, being told you suddenly have to give up foods you love in order to live a healthy life where you don’t get sick up to 10 times a day and are in danger of losing your sanity, is kind of a no-brainer. At the same time, feeling deprived is incredibly difficult. I grew up — for a chunk of time — with a single mom on a teacher salary. So I know what it’s like to feel like everyone else’s lunch box looks more appetizing than your own. Or at least I did for a formative part of my youth. Listen, I’m not going to knock Taco Tico’s pinto beans and cheese — that shit was good. But as far as not knowing if mom had money to go to the grocery store, well, I’m not a fan of the worst case scenario when it comes to food.
In fact, the first thing I did when I was diagnosed was to run to Whole Foods, where I heard they kept the gluten-free goods, and loaded up on every kind of weird gluten-free flour and snack there was. Since then I started this blog and began to experiment with all the decadent desserts I was told I could no longer eat. I’m determined like that.
So this is hard.
However, I’ve written out the pros and cons and I’m totally in it. At least for two weeks with a few exceptions: My sister-in-law’s birthday, Halloween, and say I’m at a one-year-old’s birthday party and her mom offers me a slice of brie; I might not say no. However, I’m keeping the sugar/fat/dairy/booze exceptions to a minimum.
So here are the pros: 1) It will help me break some really bad eating habits I’ve gotten myself into, especially after going gluten-free, and 2) I hope to come up with some crazy delicious dinner options that fit into this low-fat, no dairy, no gluten, no sugar box; that I actually want to make on a regular basis. 3) I also hope I start getting that burst of energy everyone told me would happen after I removed gluten from diet. ‘Cuz it has not been happening.
And the cons? I can’t eat cheese, drink wine, or have (gluten-free) pie. I know, I can’t believe I’m doing this either.
But lucky you, if you’ve been dying for some gf recipes and suggestions that are also totally good for you, I’ve got about two week’s worth coming your way. With one wicked Halloween sweet in between. I mean, come on! Who goes on a cleanse during Halloween???? We do, apparently.
How crazy is this?