I’ll admit it. I was on a holiday high last weekend. My adorable family of four was all together. We were going to movies, we were eating tons of good food, we were rolling about on our shag carpet, and just enjoying checking out. Yeah, that’s what we do.
So I was feeling cocky. I blew into Starbucks and ordered up a Gingerbread Latte. Big mistake.
I will say this. I did a perfunctory check with the barista. “Umm, do you have the nutritional information? Or a list of the allergens in this drink?” The banged cuteness responded as weakly as I did, “Ummm, no. I don’t think so.” At that point I knew I was taking my health into my own hands. But damn, I wanted some gingerbread. It’s mother scratching Christmas, you guys. And I wanted some gingerbread up in here.
So I took that calorie-laden bucket of goodness home and started to drink it. But first, I thought I’d check online. As if.
The Starbucks website has gone all cuckoo and is cheesy animation and no information. In fact, if you look for the nutritional information on their drinks, this is what you get. I do believe the technical term for that information is “Jack Shit.” And the reason I’m so peeved is that only a few months ago you could go to Starbucks dot com and learn all about what was okay for a celiac and what was the devil. But no more. They say there is no allergen information online. Let’s forget that it’s not that I’m allergic, it’s that it will make me effing sick. Same difference, maybe, but still it’s not like I’m just going to get a case of the sniffles post ingestion. But you know what? If you take your information off your website, you’d better train your employees to know what the hell is going on in that latte.
I know, I know. I should know better. If you don’t know what’s in something, you should not put it in your mouth. Which, by the way, is good advice in many other situations. I also know that trusting corporations with my health is not even close to being a good idea. But still, it would just be nice to offer up a little bit of convenience with your fattening coffee drinks.
To make it even more confusing, I just got like a little bit sick. So is the Gingerbread Latte gluten-filled? Or was there just some cross-contamination happening? Or was I just finally paying for my massive overindulgence of my gluten-free Thanksgiving? Only Starbucks knows, and that mermaid is not talking.
So what gives Starbucks? Why so Scrooge-y?