I hate to love you, oh Flying Dutchman

I don’t know about you, but I often find myself in serious need of food, with nothing easy in the house, and a toddler in the backseat who should never be allowed out of his car seat harness unless it’s to run inside his own home because that kid is CRAZY. Or perhaps that’s too specific. Do you, like me, get angry when you realize you have very few drive-thru options now that you can’t eat gluten? Yes? Well, come with me, I’ve got some solutions. I like to call it, “Operation: Avoid the Noid” Even though I’ve been avoiding the Noid long before I had to go gluten-free. Creepy dude, that Noid.

One of the first things I ever read after I was diagnosed with Celiac was to never leave the house hungry. We all know how unrealistic that is, what with the busy times. So I would say, instead, never leave the house without a purse full of muffins. Realistic? No?

Okay, how about, buy these 10 items every time you’re at the store so you always have some easy prep food waiting for you the minute you walk into the door, starving and drooling like a manic:

Almond/peanut butter
Gluten-free crackers
As much cheese as will fit in that tiny drawer in your fridge
Tortilla chips
Beans: Black, white, pinto, garbanzo — whatevs
Gluten-free sandwich meat such as: prosciutto, turkey, salami
Carrots, peeled and ready to rock
Corn (gluten-free) tortillas
Favorite fruit
Eggs

I will apologize to the vegans in advance, as I don’t know how to kill that need for fast food if you can’t have dairy. Of course, until they actually have fast food joints for vegans, this issue does not actually exist.

So here’s what you throw together when you get home all starving and angry.

Omelette

The fastest way to kill the urge is with protein. Stuff those eggs with enough cheese so you forget about that laughing clown taunting you from every corner.

Tacos

You can make anything into a taco. Fill up that tortilla with beans, cheese, or broccoli. Heck, throw scrambled eggs in there and call it a breakfast taco. Gluten-free waffles? Yes, please! That is yet another example of a breakfast taco. You’re welcome.

Cheese and Crackers

Who am I kidding? I ate these like appetizers were going out of style before I was diagnosed. But with your favorite gluten-free cracker, you can make a lovely tray of hors d’oeuvres like so –

I don’t need you, KFC. I’ve got a cheese plate. Also, add some almond butter to some crackers so you don’t have to cry over that Oreo Blizzard you’ll never taste again.

Nachos

No, these aren’t necessarily better for you than the drive-thru, however if you’re like me your cupboard is never lacking in the holy trinity: tortilla chips, beans, and cheese. And therefore, you can whip up a plate of nachos before you pass out from hunger of salt, cheese, and yum.

Fruit and Veggies

It’s true that you’ll eat more fruit and vegetables if you have them cleaned, and ready to go. And some people will even try to convince you that if you fight your bad food cravings with these good foods, eventually those cravings will go away. I am not one of those people. However, if you’ve got that starving feeling, shove some in your gullet to give your mind and body a reprieve. Then go make some nachos.

How do you fight the drive-thru urges?