So we had a thing last night. A thing that looked like oceans of water flooding down the street as we turned the corner, to go up the hill, and home. Turns out that water was coming straight from our house! Needless to say I met some neighbors that I’d never had the pleasure to speak to before, and our water bill will surely take all of my latte money for the next five years. This, my friends, is one of those emergency moments.
Even though I think I’m so totally cool pulling together a gluten-free emergency go bag, this time I forgot one big thing. In an actual emergency, you don’t have time to bake muffins. And apparently when I’m faced with an emergency, I panic. I packed clothes, tooth brushes, my make-up (gotta’ look good in the event of a crisis!), bottles of water, and M&Ms. I looked into my cabinets and thought, “Hmmm, I’m guessing the Holiday Inn doesn’t have much in the way of gluten-fr– oh, forget it.” Then I packed up my family late at night and headed down the street to beg the nice people to let us have a deal since it was almost tomorrow anyway, and no one else was going to show up and take that room.
Here’s what they had in the way of snacks in the room:
Not even The USA Today could make him happy. In their defense’ish, they had this omelette thing. So I started in on the “omelette” but honestly, it was so perfectly formed I knew there was something in there other than eggs. No one could help me out with that info — especially since I’m sure they came straight from Omelettes ‘R’ Us — so I “enjoyed” a couple of slices of bacon. Lucky for me (wait, not lucky, not lucky at all) we were across the street from a Starbucks and I could get . . . dry roasted almonds for breakfast.
Needless to say, this was a colossal gluten-free fail on my part. You guys, I had KIND bars in my cabinet. I still had that awesome jar of almond butter and gluten-free crackers. Instead, I just thought, “Fuck it.” My split decision to allow the Holiday Inn to take care of my dietary needs was not awesome. My kids, however, thought they’d died and gone to heaven when they got Fruit Loops (or is it Froot Loops?) for breakfast. Which they may get again since I’m sitting here waiting for a plumber and I’m getting a bad feeling about this.
But if we wind up back at the inn where one holidays again tonight, I’ll be prepared. And from now on I’m going to bake gluten-free muffins every day as if my very life depended on it. That’s a good takeaway, right?
Top image via Doodletogs