Celiac Disease / Reviews / Uncategorized

Ultimate Gluten-Free Holiday Gift Guide, For Real

They’re here! The holidays are all lined up and ready to kick your butt. And if you have a gluten-free cooking, food loving, slightly neurotic on your holiday list like my family does, you might want some gluten-free gift suggestions. Ten, in fact.

Okay, eleven. As there seems to be a very special gluten-free book available for pre-order on Amazon.

Of course, you have to wait until May 7th to enjoy that holiday gift. Which means it’s really more of a May Day gift. If people celebrated May Day by going heavily into debt. Still — !!!!!!!!!

So in addition to that delayed gratification, here’s what everyone wants under their tree and/or menorah this year. Swearsies.

1. Fantastic Unplastic Cookie Tray

As seen above, this glass cookie display object ($25.99) will make those gluten-free cookies look much, much, more scrumptious just by being clever. CUTE. No gluten allowed, people. Not even for display.

2. Netzwerk Bowl

This bendy bowl ($45.00) is perfect for that CSA fruit that hangs out in your kitchen all week that is in need of some air flow around its juicy parts. Or maybe that’s just me. Okay, it’s totally just me. But this is my holiday gift list, and I’m getting specific.

3. Blendtec Blender

A blender that’s $434? Why not? Probably because I could get some slamming outfits at Anthropolgie for that amount of cash. Honestly, I just need a blender that works and I understand this one is the mother scratchin’ bomb. In contrast to my own sad blender that cost way too much to only blend the stuff that is directly in the path of the blade for two seconds before the blade just shoves it aside. I’ve got milkshakes pesto to make, people!!! Any other blender suggestions welcome.

4. Scoop Colander

When I saw this scoop ($8.00) I thought, “Holy crap, I could use this!” I bet you could too.

5. Whisk Bakery Gluten-Free Cupcakes

You may not have a Whisk Bakery in your town, but poke around for an equivalent (like that’s possible) so you too can enjoy gluten-free cupcakes that not only look like works of art but taste boffo. Like this sweet potato casserole cupcake. Damn.

6. Porter Tray Table

What is better than sitting in your Barcalounger with a gluten-free cocktail and the remote? Having a super cool porter tray table ($75) right next to you to hold your accoutrements, that’s what.

7. Recycled Glass Tumblers

And here are your accoutrements! I have these gorgeous wine glasses that are made out of recycled wine bottles, but I cannot seem to find them any longer. That’s okay, because this tumbler ($42/4) looks a heck of a lot like them and is probably more sturdy. Hence, my need to replace my broken wine glasses.

8. Ninja Cooking System

Sure it would be nice to have a real ninja around to do your bidding, but if you’re looking for a way to simplify family mealtime, this cooking system of the same name ($199.80) could totally do the trick. I actually already have one thanks to the good Ninjas, and have been cooking crazy amounts of pulled pork, herbed chicken, and spaghetti and meatballs all in one big Ninja that is really three cooking tools in one. It’s pretty cool, you guys.

9. Italian Cheese Plate from Dean & Deluca

I mean, duh. ($45)

10. Private Dinner for 10 by Thomas Keller, Daniel Boulud, Richard Rosendale, & Jerome Bocuse

What, was Mario Batali out of town?

Yep, from the amazing Neiman Marcus catalog comes the gift to end all gifts. These four world-famous chefs will come to your house and make dinner for you and 9 of your closest friends. Also included, a tequila tasting and each guest goes home with a bottle of Casa Dragones engraved with their name ($250,000.00).

I can just hear it now. Boulud will be all, “Gluten-free! I do not do gluten-free!” And I’ll have to step in and be like, “Someone just spent a quarter mil on this gift, you’d best not bring any gluten into my house.” And Keller will pull out his 1 pound bag of Cup4Cup and school that Frenchie. It will be magical.

What are you asking for this holiday season?

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