I’m trying to make a joke out of this. That’s all I got. Sigh.
So I have something to confess. Even though I adore talking about crapping my pants, I’ve always felt like ever since I went off the gluten it was rare that I got really sick. Like, sick, but not really. That, my friends, is bullshit.
Ever since the great Baja Fresh gluten’ing of ’13, I’ve been in a constant state of sick, exhaustion, and more sick. Joints are aching, I feel like napping about every 15 minutes and you know the rest. (See: Crapping). I’m all, “What’s wrong with me??? It must be stress!” And then I sound like all those a-holes who tell celiacs it’s all in your head. So I stopped and thought for a minute as I dragged my ass into week three of being sick, and remembered the last time I got gluten’d and how long that lasted as well. FUDGE. (See how I’m controlling myself?)
I do believe it’s that leaky gut situation I’ve read so much about. The thing that got Jennifer Esposito all out of the business. The thing that always sounds kind of gross and creepy so I never considered the fact that I might have a situation up in my gut. Jaysus. Because basically it’s when you eat something that hurts you (gluten) then your intestines get all wacky and bendy, and start allowing proteins and what-not out into your body and then your immune system is like WTF? The cycle of pain begins. And I’m not exactly sure when it ends. Please tell me it ends.
Okay, people. So I will call my amazing dietician after I get back from the magical mystery tour of San Francisco, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle. But in the meantime, what do I have to do to be a-OK? Please don’t say give up dairy.
Oh, and hey West Coast. Here’s what’s going down if you’re in the area. Come on by, I’ve GOT BUTTONS LEFT and I know how to rally. Oh, I know how to rally.
Come see me in:
Monday, June 24th @12:30pm
Come hear me read, watch me write my name, and grab a button!
Cupcake Royale (Capitol Hill location)
1111 East Pike Street
Friday, June 28th @3:00-5:00pm
THEY’VE GOT CUPCAKES AND STUMPTOWN COFFEE HERE PEOPLE. And me. I’ll be there too.