Okay, so I made it 27 days. Or 26 with a slice of cake, oh and that thing on day 20 when I had a tortilla and a couple of cocktails. What I’m trying to say is, I’m not perfect, people. I know you totally thought I was due to this, this, and this. But alas, I know I’m breaking hearts by confessing that I could not do it for the whole 30. Or just telling you something you already knew about me because of this.
I do have to say I’m mostly glad I did this Whole 30. I’m really glad I read the book, and I feel like I’ve learned a bit more about what food does to the ol’ bod, and what works better for me and what’s not-so-hot. It was great eating whole foods because there was zero chance of getting gluten’d, and I’ll certainly continue to do this almost all of the time. I have to say I only got like two days of that “super energy” feeling, but I’m a low key gal and I always have been. My low blood pressure proves it, like with science.
I was disappointed that I didn’t feel like super woman, and also that my skin never got one bit better, and maybe even worse? Still, it was also a good lesson in connecting emotions and eating, and how that business all works. Whoo-boy, did that kick my ass. And it was interesting learning about inflammatory foods and how they can make the belly feel not so hot. Admittedly, I already knew about the gluten thing. So this extreme maybe wasn’t meant for someone like me in a revelatory manner. But hey, I did learn other stuffs! Like 30 things at least.
- Going to bed at 9 p.m. makes me sad
- Meat gets wedged in my teeth like a mother
- It’s possible to get hooked on kale
- So this is how an eating disorder happens
- Super easy to take gluten out of your diet when you’ve been doing it for 2.5 years already
- Apparently nachos are not a meal
- You never know how much you love peanut butter, ’til it’s gone
- If you ever need a class reunion/wedding/trip to the Riviera diet, this biz will do it
- Greens are good, it’s true
- Your dietary restrictions mean you can’t hang out with any friends for 30 days
- Soup is your friend, eat that shizzle
- Your body is weird
- Almond milk kind of rules
- Meth might help
- Maybe plan your Whole 30 not on your birthday
- Supportive partners can turn into mortal enemies in approximately 16.5 days
- I fucking love tacos
- Having salad with breakfast makes you feel French. Not as French as having a salad and a cigarette for breakfast, but still French.
- It is possible to dream about doughnuts for 8 nights in a row
- That adorable couple from The Whole 30 start looking like the devil’s minions around Day 17
- Soft cheese is not my friend (I HATE that I learned this, BTW)
- I get kinda’ mean off sugar
- I might kill for tacos
- Bagels are overrated
- Wine is your friend, and friends don’t avoid friends for more than 27 days
- I don’t know what pinto beans ever did to deserve this kind of treatment
- When sushi is considered a treat, it’s time to give up
- Maybe don’t do the Whole 30 unless you’re in a stable relationship
- Kids can learn a classic curse word after only hearing it three times
- Tacos. Food of the Gods.
Image via somewhere weird