Dang, my family loves the “Chopped.” While I’m always like, “I should see if I can get on that show,” every time they’re “Pizza Night!” I realize how much gluten is up in there. You can’t make yet another bread pudding without the bread, you guys. Well, I can. But, anyhoo.

The point of me going on and on here is two-fold, 1) There should totally be a gluten-free episode of “Chopped;” and 2) Making your kids play “Chopped” for their supper when you don’t want to deal is GENIUS PARENTING.

In case it’s not obvious from the first pic, I presented each child with four basket items: gluten-free frozen biscuit, cheddar-jack cheese cubes, gluten-free/cf/organic Applegate hot dogs and English peas. Were they excited? Oh yes, they were excited.

The two competitors got going very quickly. One went artsy –

And the other decided to actually make something edible –

Putting the judgs (aka, Mom and Dad) in a very tough position.

You guys, you cannot deny the presentation with my son’s “airplane” motif. That dude worked with laser-like precision to put those peas on top of those cheddar-jack cubes, that’s some major “Chopped” points. Of course, he added vanilla ice cream, and didn’t cook a goddamn thing. Did I try it? No. I did not.

Seriously, dude. You just pile it up and think I’m going to eat it? Oh, hell no. Nice work with the dipping sauce, though.

Now we have the girl’s dish. Ugly? Ignoring the basket in favor of making a separate dish exclusively from the pantry? Oh, you bet. But it was not only edible, but the ice cream sundae was DIVINE.

The biscuit/cheese/hot dog action wasn’t bad either. I mean, she cooked it, you guys. But it’s hard to give mad props to one kid when the other one doesn’t even know how to use the microwave. Which may be why there’s an age limit for kids on the Food Network.

Also, her food looks like ass. And that English pea, whipped cream, orange marmalade (yeah, she added that) was something else I refused to eat. So I didn’t really know which way to go here. So I did what any parent does when asked by one kid, “Mommy, who’s your favorite?” I lied and made the “Chopped” competition a tie.

“You’re both winners in my book”

Seriously, how was I supposed to judge that? Honestly. Still, “Chopped” needs to get down with the gluten-free. I’ve got a fantastic gf marinade, you guys. Call me. Just hang up if one of my kids answers.