Oh hi, I didn’t see you there. Were you watching me crap my pants? Most likely you were, because that’s my “thing” these days. Happy Holidays, suckers!
You guys, I love the holidays. I have no cynical-child-of-the-90s guilt about unabashedly loving the holiday season. Not even ironically. Not a year goes by that I don’t down my weight in Christmas cookies, before, or after the celiac thing. Fudge is my best friend. Except these days, there’s a different kind of fudge dominating my days.
I also love holiday parties. I love spontaneous “Let’s meet for a drink and and apps!” suggestions, and I won’t turn down an ice skating and hot chocolate invite. I love shopping for other people, which can, at times, lead to lunch on the run at a place that could kill you. Which is why I’m currently in day 4 on the bowl.
If I’ve begrudgingly said it once, I’ve begrudgingly said it a thousand times: Shart happens. If you leave your house, your health is at risk. I know this. You know this. Your friends don’t know this, but hey, they’ve got their own problems. (Can you say d-i-v-o-r-i-c-e? They can.)
So how to balance the super fun times of the holidays, with the “Oh my god, is that blood?” time? I dunno, guys. I. Don’t. Know. Right now I’m feeling like total ass, and I’m downing charcoal pills and hunting for my probiotics which are lost behind the contents of my CSA box and leftover brisket. I’m forgoing ordering out Indian food “just in case.” And I’m wondering if it’s wise to leave the house again this season. I mean, I will. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a party whore. But I’m wondering if I should listen when my GI doctor says to me, “If I tell you your test results aren’t very good, will you just stop eating out?”
Probably not. But I will step up my holiday game. With this, and this, and this. And I’ll start checking the candy cane labels, because, yeah, didn’t know those could get you until some nice person on Instagram filled me in. Explains an 8-10 hour period of yuck, for sure. All of this is to say, I should keep bringing my own latkes to a party, and I should never trust anyone but my GI doctor. Alternately, I should load up on dinner, then head to the party and drink my face off (not beer). Right? Right.
Crappy holidays, you guys!
How are you coping?
XO
Gluten is my Bitch 
Ugh. So sorry for crappy holidays, and I can totally relate. I have to avoid all treats that get sent to my office (chocolate, brownies, popcorn, baskets with crackers, cookies, etc.) and hold out hope that some sweet soul will send a box of Harry & David pears (they did again this year, YAY!) I just turned down an invite to a Swedish Christmas Eve dinner from someone at my husband’s work, because, well, home-cooked food at someone else’s house, possible cultural/language barrier (they are, indeed, Swedish), possible pot-luck situation, and I’m vegetarian, so I don’t want your meatballs. No need to be the center of attention for all of my dietary needs in *that* situation!
P.S. Look for toffee/brittle, preferably the kind that is made with butter & sugar instead of corn syrup. Almond Roca is the BOMB. And See’s California Brittle is pretty easy to pick out of that 3-pound box.
Oh I’m so sorry! That is awful and I’m still so pissed about candy canes. Found that out last year.
So my daughter went out to dinner for the first time in months and guess what? She got glutened bad, and we spent the night in the bathroom with her vomiting. The poor kid fell asleep holding her little body up over the bowl. Terribly heartbreaking.
Eating out is such a risk and it’s so unfair. If it was me, I know I’d take the chance because I’m a sucker for drinks and apps anytime, but for my kid I’m ready to give up. (Eating out, not on my kid!)
I really hope you feel better soon and have a better second half of Chanukah.
Oh no, Dana! That is the worst. I’m so sorry for your little lady. PHHHHPT.
Oh yes, I’m paying for celebrating with my family. Despite my mother’s best efforts, I am looking at a crappy week, too. Also, got to spend a whole day feeling like someone beat me with a stick – every joint I had ached. Turned down dinner with a friend this week. I just can’t take any more risks. On the positive side, I made the King Arthur GF Brazilian Cheese Buns for Xmas night dinner and they were a big hit with all my gluten-loving relatives, so yay, new food tradition for us! Hope you are feeling better now. Happy New Year!
Boo!!! I’m still on the pot, but not leaving my house for a week in hopes of getting back on track. I also want to try those Brazilian cheese buns!!! Feel better, Susan!
I am now even more in love with the Brazilian cheese bread. I froze a batch and they reheat perfectly. You can put them frozen into the oven, and a few minutes later they are crisp on the outside and puffy with real air holes (just like wheat bread!) on the inside. One of the KA commenters says she uses an herb oil to make baguettes instead. It’s the only GF baked goodie I’ve made that my non-GF children really love. No xanthan gum, either. That stuff is nasty.
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I prefer not to know if divo-rice is a gluten-free quip or a spellcheck. Healthy New Year!
Despite the whole family being super-careful, and me eating very little I didn’t bring, I still got dosed at Christmas eve at Grandma’s house. The culprit? Who knows. (Possibly the aunt who showed me the unopened package of gluten-free spinach dip, said, “look, you can eat this!” and then dipped a regular cracker into it while I was reaching for a gluten-free cracker…?)
How I cope with eating out these days: Costco had some *very* attractive insulated lunch bags lately. They look sort of like expensive purses. They are reasonably priced. (I think about $15?) Costco also has hummus and guacamole and cream cheese in cases of single serving packs. Every time I go out, I pack my pretty purse with a couple of ice packs, some gluten-free pretzels, hummus, sliced bell peppers (and maybe carrot sticks), a couple of Kind bars, two cheese sticks, and some gluten-free chocolate. Sometimes I add an apple and a single-serving packet of peanut butter. Sometimes there’s guacamole and tortilla chips in there. Always in the bag are gluten-free soy sauce packets. In the trunk of my car, there’s Costco cases of single serving packs of trail mix, nuts, fruit snacks, and fruit cups. Also in the trunk are the Costco packs of microwave-able pouches of brown rice & quinoa, Tasty Bite Madras Lentils (yummy Indian food!), and Fish People’s entrees. If I’m at a dinner party, I can usually ask the host for a plate or bowl, and two minutes in the microwave gets me Salmon in a Chardonnay Reduction over Garlic Brown Rice and Quinoa. Sounds pretty fancy, no?
I have multiple insulated lunch boxes, and a whole bunch of the ice packs in my freezer. Having the grab-and-go stuff makes it all work for me.
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Every single December I feel ill and the two sickest times in my life have been in December~ the holidays are harsh for sure. Hope you’re feeling better.