Celiac Disease

The Most Disgusting Way to Get Gluten’d


gluten-free-new-york-cityHappy Hump Day, everybody!

I hope you’re all feeling good and healthy and not at all like me because I am grossed out to the max. I just got some disturbing not gluten-free news.

If you’re like me, every now and then you’re crapping your pants and taking inventory of what in the heck you ate over the past 24 hours. Coming up blank (not even too much coffee or a milkshake) you cannot figure out how you could possibly be suffering from ingesting gluten. Well, friends, I may have figured out what my problem has been recently. And I hope to Jaysus this is not something you’ve ever experienced. Like, ever.

The thing that may be glutening me is . . . 

Dirty dishes.

Yeah, that IS disgusting.

I’m not a dirty person, you guys. I swear, even as I lick the chocolate off my fingers after enjoying some gluten-free chocolate bark. But I discovered that my dishwasher has not been behaving properly due to a hunk of glass cutting open a drainage line. Or something. I’m not a handy woman. Long story short, Stanley comes over to fix it and tells me my dishes have not been getting cleaned because the water just keeps washing over them and not draining.

So for a little while now (honestly I don’t even know if it’s been a week or months) my gluten pot and gluten bowls for the children have been washed off, and the water has washed over ALL the gluten-free dishes. Not being a scientist (I really am good at telling you what I’m not today, yes?) I don’t know if this is indeed the culprit to my mystery ailments. But I certainly cannot help but feel sick now.

MY FAMILY HAS BEEN EATING OFF OF DIRTY DISHES!!!!!!!!!

Gross. I’m going to go put hand sanitizer in my mouth now. I think it’s probably gluten-free.

8 thoughts on “The Most Disgusting Way to Get Gluten’d

  1. I can totally see how the film of glutened water drying on your dishes could be giving you a daily dose of yuck! Wow! Hatin’ it for ya! Really hope you are quickly on the mend!

  2. Ugh!!! That is disgusting!!! I was repeatedly glutened when my friend used to not properly wash her pots…and had hardened gluten soup on it!! Needless to say…we didn’t share after that. PS many of bath and body hand sanitizers contain gluten (not that I actually think you are drinking it but for future reference!)

  3. That is absolutely what happened to me a year ago! I couldn’t figure out why I was getting sick but my body is like a lab rat with very specific and odd symptoms — the one you mention being the most inconvenient. So we made a rule that anyone eating glutenous anything had to use a paper plate until we could get a new dishwasher. I wrote a book too on gluten sensitivity called “Coming Unglutened” and I interviewed Dr. Alessio Fasano who said 3 crumbs per day would gluten anyone with celiac and, while I do not have Celiac, I am that sensitive too.

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