Holy crap, moving sucks the big one. Even my dog knows the score. Yet, we just willingly hauled our cookies across town and are trying hard to set up shop again. And even though I know all of the fantastic reasons we just did this (walkable neighborhood, great middle school, gourmet soft serve on the corner) I’m questioning my sanity right about now. Moving. It’s for suckers.
It did not help that the weekend before our big move I got some cross-contamination action in what I believe were three different restaurants. Yep. This has been one of the worst gluten’ings of my 5 year career of not eating gluten on purpose. And when you’re moving and your kitchen is packed up, you can’t be 100% sure you’re eating safely. So, yeah, it’s been ugly, and painful, and I’ve been packing, lifting, moving, and now, unpacking, in between losing my shit and being malnourished. FUN.
Still. I have tips, because that’s how I am. Okay, I have very few tips. Because I’m tired AF, and am mostly just using this post as a rant. But first, the don’ts.
- Don’t lose your shit publicly when your store is out of lime flavored LaCroix. That’s called a first world problem. (And don’t tell me pamplemousse is better. Just don’t.)
- Don’t decide to just not eat because every time you eat it goes straight into the toilet. I did that, and I wound up dehydrated, in addition to having zero vitamins in my body.
- Don’t forget where you packed your coffee pot. I still can’t find that %$*##@ thing.
So it’s amazing I can even think to give you the dos. Yet, I go on.
DO: Bleach the hell out of your fridge before you put your gluten-free foods inside. Okay, this may be overkill but I’m very into doing what I can right now, instead of taking any risks. So bleaching the fridge, the cabinets, and putting down shelf liner is the way to go.
And this is how I know I’m losing it. I found myself thinking back to one of the first seasons of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” when Teresa Giudice said she’d never live in a “used house.” I feel you, Teresa. I feel you. Which is why my next piece of advice is bonkers: Buy all new appliances when you move.
Okay, we didn’t do that and that’s insane. But don’t think I haven’t thought about skipping vacations and holidays so I can be guaranteed that no gluten has ever touched my dishwasher and cheese drawer.
DO: Upgrade your cutting boards when you make a move (also, see shelf lining). It’s a great time to ditch anything that needs an upgrade, and I also feel like cutting boards need a refresh every few years, anyway. I really love these from Casabella that label each sheet by food, that way it helps me keep food in its own lane.
And I got all of that done while trying to sort out who the weird guy was walking back and forth in front of my dining room window. Still, unsure.
DO: Identify your local gluten-free friendly restaurants in your new neighborhood, ASAP. I love Find Me Gluten Free, and it’s especially important to read the reviews, and maybe don’t go to the place with only 1 star. Also, that’s almond milk in that coffee. But no, that’s not vegan cheese on my chilaquiles. I’m weak.
And that, my friends, is how to succeed and fail when relocating your bad self. Good ‘effing luck.
(No matter how many probiotics taken, charcoal swallowed and half-assed attempts to avoid dairy, I’m not getting any better. So please send tips. K, thanks.)
Gluten is my Bitch 
We were planning on moving in the next two years, but after looking at a dozen ugly houses that were overpriced and needed too much work, and weren’t safe for my disabled husband, I stopped looking. We are probably going to remodel parts of our house to accommodate him. After we lived through a remodel before moving to the East Coast, I swore I wouldn’t do it again, but I think sometimes it is easier than packing and unpacking. Not to mention someone else’s kitchen! Thanks for the tips. I will keep this for when we do move. Like an idiot, I had never considered the pitfalls.
I’m so sorry for your pain. Moving is bad enough – being sick while you’re moving has got to be the absolute pits.Thanks for all the tips, especially the guide to gf restaurants. The only tip I can offer in return is to think about eliminating all dairy. I’ve got autoimmune thyroid disease, and going gf wasn’t enough by itself to stop my awful inflammatory headaches, joint aches and depression. Last July I bit the bullet and went completely gluten and dairy free and now I feel much better. I believe the casein protein in dairy can be just as bad as gluten for some of us with autoimmune conditions. If you do decide to dump the dairy, some food items that have helped me are Coconut Bliss ice cream, Melt buttery sticks and So Delicious coconut whipped topping, along with anything Daiya (yogurt, mac ‘n cheese, etc.). Good luck with your move!
Sorry that you are under the weather. I don’t think it was gluten but I had a particularly nasty intestinal illness a few years ago. I never did figure out what caused it. I was sick for about a month. Every time I started to feel better and would eat somewhat normal food, I would get sick all over again. Keep your diet extremely bland. I finally gave up all dairy and ate pretty much nothing but chicken broth, white rice, chicken breasts and apple sauce for a couple of weeks. That finally did the trick but I wasn’t able to eat dairy for several months after I started feeling better. Good luck!
Thanks Gina! I know I’ve got to keep it bland but a) I’m having a hard time when ordering out since my chicken isn’t unpacked yet, and 2) I really don’t want to. 😉 But yes, that sucks too. If we have celiac, stomach ailments outside of that should not be allowed in.
LOL. Agreed. Gluten free is so restrictive that when you place additional restrictions on top of it, it can be demoralizing/irritating. When the gastroenterologist told me I could never, ever have gluten again, I handled it like a trooper (mostly because Dr. Google had already prepared me for it). I was philosophical even. This was going to be great and it would most certainly solve all of my problems. Six months later, having meticulously removed every molecule of gluten from my life, the same gastroenterologist suggested eliminating dairy and I felt the urge to punch him in the face. I didn’t punch him but I didn’t give up dairy either.
On the other hand, as the only Celiac in my family, I have fun where I can. I will randomly make up new medical conditions that prohibit me from eating okra, brussel sprouts, or whatever I don’t feel like eating that day. 😊
Moving sucks! And I’m so happy to see that you’re a fellow LaCroix cultist. My favorite is the cherry-lime. Having a backup favorite helps. Mine is passionfruit (which makes a lovely wine spritzer). Good luck settling back in and I hope you love your new home!
Nom, nom, La Croix. Thanks!